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Asked by Last Updated:

Contemplating divorce

Hello everyone, I am in need of some advice.
I met the love of my life (or so i thought) at the age of 16 and married him at the age of 19.
He was my first boyfriend/lover realationship.
My parents begged me to wait as they thought we were too young.
But I was in love and thought we would conquer the world.
I am now 27 and have been married for 7 1/2 yrs.
To say that our marriage has been pure bliss would be a lie (however I have made it seem this way for years so everyone around us look at us as #couplegoals) the first year of marriage he told his brother he wanted to bang one of my friends.
The 2nd year of marriage he was messaging with another girl and according to her he would walk her to her car and never mentioned he was married (i found out when he messaged his phone saying she missed him).
When I was pregnant he wasn't really there for me, and wasn't as excited as I was for our baby.
I had a bit of post partum depression which he never really helped me get through it.
our 4th year of marriage he cheated on me, the girl msg'd me a long post stating my husband couldn't keep his thing inside his pants and that he would meet up with her before work so they could make out and so he could kiss her.
I wanted a divorce but somehow i forgave him, bc i love him or loved him I dont really know at this point.
After that there have recently been a few instances where he has let another woman hug him in my persence, and all messaged one of my friends.
The messages were not anywhere near like the first two times but it still upset me that he went out of his way to add her on different social media accounts and then privately message her.
I was determined to leave him this past summer after this but again i went back.
I have been unhappy in my marriage bc I feel like everytime I was about to get over what he did, he did something new o re-open the wound.
He also changed a bit he would before hold my hand and want to spend time with me and our 4yr old son to wanting to go out by himself or be with his friends.
I have told him for the past 2yrs that I'm not happy and have always been very sincere with him.
I recently met a guy who I am very much attracted to and would like to get to know.
I told my husband I wanted a divorce and we have been living together but seperated for 1 month.
I have not allowed him to hug me or kiss me or anything.
This guy I met knows I am married and has respecte me, we have done nothing but talk and through talking for the past month I am very much intrigued by him and cant stop imagining dating him.
I'm scared bc my husband and I have been together for 10yrs but I feel as though I have had enough.
He has begged me to tak him back and has started paying attenetion to mr (but like HELLO what about all the other years!! ) why did it have to come to this???

1 Answers

CindyBaker Answered:

Hi! It is very clear that he is very frivolous in his approach towards you. He has not treated you with the respect you deserve. He has not supported you throughout the marriage and has left you high and dry. It's best to call it quits. You need to be firm in your decision to end a loveless marriage. Do yourself and your child a favour - build a strong, financially sound future for yourself. Work towards building a bright and secure future for your child. channelize all your energies at self-improvement. So far your husband has been the focal point of your life. Clearly, all the distress has left you depleted. Start afresh and make yourself the focus of your life. As for the man you recently met, take time - get to know him better. You don't to get stuck in a bad pattern. Choose wisely, don't jump into a deep, committed relationship with him. It's best to be friends with him first and let the friendship take the course of natural progression.

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