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Asked by Last Updated:

Wife no longer seems interested in me

I am 39 and my wife is 33.
We have been married 14 years and have 2 children.
All of my 'issues' started last fall when my wife started working again.
Before that, she didn't work very much and she was mostly at home.
We would have sex around 3-4 times a week, pretty much since we've been together.
When she started working again, the frequency starting dropping off.
I noticed she was tired a lot and that seemed to be the reason.
The frequency has continued to slow down to 1-2x a month if I am lucky.
 I have talked to her about this and she insists that it's her and not me.
Says she is still attracted to me and 'likes' doing stuff with me.
 It is becoming increasingly hard to believe her.
I think if that is true, then she would do things with me.
I am attracted to her and I want to do things with her.
What could be a wrinkle in the story is spring 2015 I had a vasectomy.
 It went fine and we did enjoy sex carefree for quite a while.
 However, I have a side-effect.
 I ejaculate a lot.
 If it's been more than a day it seems to still be a lot.
  2 weeks, a ton.
 She vocally complains each and every time.
 There is not much I can do about it.
 She refuses to let me pull out so it's not 'coming out of her the whole next day.
I try and not masturbate, which is another option.
Along those lines, it's been over a year since she's given me a blow job, since father's day for a handjob and she basically doesn't touch me at all.
It's at the point now where had got into an argument this week.
 I am so fed up I got upset with her.
 I told her I didn't understand why she won't touch me or do anything.
 She told me it's not all about me and that she doesn't have to touch me or my penis.
 She said maybe she did it too much in our past and if she hadn't I wouldn't be expecting it now.
 I just need to grow and get over it.
 She is making it all about HER by refusing to be intimate with me.
Well at this stage I'm finding it impossibly difficult not to resent her every waking moment.
 I am trying to be normal around her but I can't seem to wrap my head around what I can to make the situation better.
 I cannot hold out indefinitely and I don't want her to get the impression I am ok with this.
 Any advice would be great.
 I love my wife and I want our relationship to be better and for both of us to feel wanted, loved and respected.

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