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Asked by Last Updated:

Feeling numb

I found out my wife of 6yrs was cheating on me Wednesday morning.
I was out of town for work and flew back immediately.
I had been having suspicions for weeks.
Then I finally just bought a camera to keep an eye on things.
Didn’t catch “the act” but I did catch incriminating phone calls.
Naturally I was crushed, crying all day the first day with bouts of anger.
I kicked her out of the house on Thursday morning.
We went to counciling Thursday afternoon.
Counciler says it was all too fresh and we needed to have some time apart through the weekend.
She went to stay with a friend and I stayed at our house with our daughter.
I can’t tell that she is full of true remorse.
Deep down I still love her and I want to work things out but these last two days I feel just empty/numb.
I’m not mad at her or sad, I don’t hate her I don’t feel love for her.
Even when I think of her and the OM together I feel nothing.
Even when she comes around to see our daughter and she walks through the door bawling I don’t want her to leave, I don’t want her to stay.
Just a whole lot of nothingness.
Someone told me I was starting to detach myself but I honestly don’t feel like that’s it because I think I would still feel anger.
Also it seems like it happens most when she comes around.
Maybe a defense mechanism? We have another counseling appointment on Monday and I will definitely mention this to the councilor.
It kind of has me concerned because I don’t want to feel this way I want to feel something ANYTHING.
I’m afraid I am subconsciously just “bottling up” my emotions up (which I have typically done before) to come out later on down the road.
I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone else has experienced this and what it meant to them

1 Answers

BruceKent Answered:

Hi Rumbles, You are going through an emotionally draining phase, during this period it is quite natural to feel nothing. You need to invest time in yourself to figure things out. You must be experiencing a whole mix of feelings, anger, anxiety, loneliness, remorse and many more, all at the same time. This surplus emotional activity leads to the state where one feels nothing, and it is not a very pleasant state. You need to keep your mind busy with things that don't harm you, try thinking about your daughter's future and the emotional dilemma she might be facing right now. I would suggest you flush out the emotionally draining stuff and think with a clear and rational approach, decide what your next step should be, decide how you are going to approach this situation. I hope your situation improves and all's happy again in your life soon. Good Luck!

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