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Asked by Last Updated:

I think my wife might of have married me for my green card

I am US citizen who lives outside the USA.
My wife is non us citizen with b2 visa.
Yes my wife originally lived in the USA practically with her b2 visa since she would get 6 months permission to stay in the USA and the time she couldn't be there in the USA she would live outside the USA,, here is where I enter the picture.
While she was outside the USA because her B2 visa 6 month stay was up, we met online.
One of the first questions she asked me when we met was whether I was a US citizen.
Anyways we dated for some time outside the USA,, until the time when her B2 visa allowed her back in the USA.
She went back to the USA on B2 visa and after some time I followed her to the USA and we lived in the USA for some months, she would work as a housemaid for 6 days a week and I would see her on sundays.
She was very interested in money at that time and we would have frequent disputes because of it.
Anyways she told me that during sex that the condom bothered her and I thought nothing of it, hint to the clueless when a woman says that the condom bothers her and you don't want children then inyect her with anticonceptive or stop having sex, anyways she gets pregnant obviously from this.
I wonder if her getting pregnant was part of bigger plan or just a coincidence.
Anyways with a baby on the way we get married and have been in a very tumultous marriage for about 1 year and 11 months so far.
We decided to have the baby where the principal caretaker of the baby, my mother lives, outside the USA.
The us non citizen spouse however has during the 1 year 11 monts period of marriage always had like a fixation on the USA.
Almost everyday when she woke up outside the USA she would fixate on the USA and money.
My wife refuses to work outside the USA because she says truthfully that the salaries in the part outside the USA where we live are low compared to the USA.
Anyways since she is focused on the financial aspect, this makes her leave for the USA at least twice a year.
She would be extremely unhappy and irritated because of not having money and was not content living with me and my parents even though having a decent shelter, food and clothes for her and would also constantly insist that I give her the green card.
My wife is not so nice when raising children , so therefore my mother raises our children and if I give my wife the green card that would mean she would probably immigrate to the USA and being a mother of 2 children, she has another from a previous marriage which now lives with us, probably try or even right out take the children with to the USA, which is what I fear the most because they would suffer under her care in the USA.
I refuse to sponsor her green card because I would like to raise our children with my mother who cares for them very well.
So I don't know sometimes I wonder if the only reason she has stayed in the marriage is because of the green card and or the fact that her other child from another relationship is very problematic and she knows how hard it would be for her to find another partner with 2 little children in tow, especially the problematic one.
So perhaps the only reason she hasn't left me is the green card and the fact that it would probably very hard for her to to find another partner who would put up with her problem child.
Numbers 5,7 and 8 resonate here.
Number 5.
My wife lies a lot.
Number 7 Family and maids that work with my family have told me that my wife is way too rude.
My mother and father have told me in the past due to my wifes negative damaging behavior to me that it is better for me to divorce , even though to this day i havent.
On our honeymoon we didn't have sex because my wife said she was tired.
Number 8.
My wife claims to love me but doesnt treat me as nicely as she does sometimes to her friends and family.
I don't know if my wife married me for a green card and or for me and my family to babysit her problematic child from a previous relationship

1 Answers

BruceKent Answered:

Hi John Doe 12, Life does not always turn out as we have wanted or expected it to be. You are in a grave situation right now, and it is essential for you to analyze your problems. Analyze with great patience, only then can you find a satisfactory solution. Decisions made in a hurry are not the best ones, they can have severe repercussions. You need to find out what's going on in your wife's head, what was her original motto to marry you. Though from your description she seems to be a money minded person, this can be her core personality which governs all her actions and her behavior. There may be a chance she could change when confronted with her behavioral issues. Make her realize what she has done wrong this whole time, and if she does not turn, what could be the future of your marriage. Be honest and straightforward, if dialogue does not work, maybe it's time to consider divorce as an option. In my opinion, separation is not an option as you have a kid. I believe every problem in this world is solvable through rational dialogue, but if that does not work for you, you have to make a decision. Good luck!

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