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Asked by Last Updated:

Was he ready for marriage

My husband and I have been married for about 3 months now, we met on instagram.
I am African and he flew to meet then we got engaged.
then I moved to usa after a year with my kids.
In the 3months of marriage we fight all the time about stupid things.
He has a kid from his a previous relationship and I feel like the child mother is manipulating our marriage through the kid.
And each time I bring it up we fight, he yells and call me names, even says he don't know why he married me, about two weeks ago we had a fight because I had been on social media and didn't tell him about it, now he thinks I was there talking to people.
I apologized for not telling him and he still fighting about it everyday saying he can't be with a liar yet I never talked to anyone.
Oursex life is great and when out in the public we look happy.
Am I the problem , wasn't he ready for this or he can't cope with the change ?

1 Answers

Rosy Andrews Answered:

It wouldn't be the first time a husband's ex meddled in his new marriage, so it's definitely a possibility! The other possibility is that you and your husband didn't have enough time together (in person) before committing to getting married. Since you were presumably in Africa when you met on Instagram, you and your husband never got the opportunity to see what
Sure, you may have talked on the phone or skyped 24/7, but that isn't the same as being in person with someone, feeling out chemistry, and seeing how you work when you're in the same house together. You didn't get to see him interact with your kids (or you did, but since he was only visiting, he probably put on his best behavior) and you certainly didn't feel the presence of his ex-wife in your relationship.
This one is definitely hard.
In the end, it takes two to tango in a marriage. It sounds like you guys need to work on open communication. You are husband and wife now, and in a healthy marriage, that means you have each other's backs. It means you should be able to talk about anything without the fear of judgment.
I highly suggest you and your hubby look into this online marriage class (like this one: https://www.marriage.com/marriage-courses/). The sections offer great advice and teach you about communication, learning to listen to each other, building trust, and how to start a marriage forging new traditions as a couple (instead of say, clinging to trad*itions he has with his ex.)
I hope that helps!

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