Think im going to lose my sanity
I have never posted or done this before on a website.
I'm pretty desperate.
Husband of 9 years, my son is 51/2 with Autism.
Most days are a struggle with him alone.
My husband is self employed and has always been at home since our son was born.
However, I'm not working at the moment, but husband seems to just get under my feet.
So much so, I'm here with my son all the time and having a husband on top is killing me.
I feel like I am going to lose any sanity I've got.
Its got so bad, I'm pulling my hair out.
I try to stay calm, but not really working.
My husband is a good man, he is good if you ask him to do anything and hes happy to do it.
However, he seems to of completely changed since our son.
He gives me so much anxiety to the point of panicking and insomnia for the last 4 years.
I want to separate as I feel like I have no choice for myself.
Ive asked him over and over and over again to start taking responsibility for some of the problems, but he clams up, doesnt speak, can ignore me for hours and i cannot cope.
I have no support either, not really any friends I cant talk to, and no family as they've never been interested, so never see them.
Don't have that relationship there, plus they're not nice people, so I keep away from them for that reason.
To be honest, I feel lost
Hi, I would say I can understand your situation, the feeling that nobody in the world understands you. I can understand it as I have been there. You feel lonely even in the company of your husband and son, that's because you are not able to share your feelings with them. A communication gap that has grown wide with time, and what makes it worse is your inability to control it. I would advise, to be honest with yourself and for a change, just focus on your desires. Invest time exploring yourself and figure out what you really want, don't do it when you are frustrated and fed up with your daily chores. You need to be at peace to explore yourself, so just take a few days off, go somewhere all alone and explore all the decision making possibilities.