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Asked by Last Updated:

Am I wrong for wanting revenge?

My husband is a porn addict and I have caught him snooping around and talking to other women as well.
I have asked him I can’t even count how many times to stop viewing porn because I find that to be a form of infidelity.
He still tries to sneak it and then hide it and lie to me.
We have a very active and wild sex life when things are going well.
I don’t ask much of him and I have been open to trying every one of his fantasies.
It’s been almost 4 years of him doing this to me, now I want him to feel the way I have felt.
Am I wrong for wanting revenge?

3 Answers

Kwaps2017 Answered:

I have the same problem, but he sees it as ok and normal and i think that's the issue. I see it as an act of him being unfathful and he doesn't see it like that. He's just like oh it's just women in bras that's all. There's literally no hope of getting it through to him. And i agree the fact my hubbie tries to hide it makes me want to just get revenge.. I can't help but i do feel your pain.

Samileigh2014 Answered:

I have done everything I can think of to make him realize how detrimental his actions have been to me and our marriage. He does not seem to get it or he just downright does not care. I want our marriage to work, I want my husband to respect me and love me like I love him, but he also needs to understand the serious mental and emotional strain he has put on me. I am severely depressed, I have no confidence, no self esteem, nothing. I know therapy will not make him realize how terrible his actions are and how much he has seriously fucked me up in the head. He is ruining our marriage. Therapy won’t make him realize.

Ted1234 Answered:

Hi While your point is quite valid but the important question here is- Will taking revenge really address your concern? Do you want to seek happiness by taking revenge or by having your husband all to yourself? The choice is yours. I guess you could take him to therapy and perhaps that will solve the problem. Take him in confidence and reason with him for his habits. You may get a valid response. something that you can help with.

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