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Asked by Last Updated:

Correct strategy?

The question says it all really.
It has been going on at least two years physically and possibly two years before that emotionally she was his affair partner between '97 & 03.
They split, we met, got on with it fairly quickly, I was 40, she was 35.
We now have two girls 11&12 and a dreadful mess.
It has been stop/start (supposedly).
I found out in August is was on again and I moved out.
Since then she overnights with him on a weekly basis after palming the kids off somewhere.
I have told her I will not discuss anything whilst she is still seeing him.
I issued an ultimatum three weeks ago, bin him or it is divorce, I never heard from her so I have met with a lawyer

2 Answers

JohnHeaphy Answered:

Thanks Ted, it is like the turkey voting for Xmas. I do not want the split, I feel we could have a very good future given our experiences in this horrible time. How long do I wait?, that is my difficulty. What they're doing can not last and will not last but until it stops I don't think she is capable of rational thought and discussion. She of course, at the moment, will undoubtedly view things differently. She is not a bad person, just extremely mixed up and confused (issues in her formative years) but thinks what she is doing is right because it feels so good.

Ted1234 Answered:

HI Well talking really helps. You could still try to talk to her once before taking the final plunge. it is a good idea to be clear about the situation before jumping to a divorce and ending a long relationship. Hope that the communication helps you!

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