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Asked by Last Updated:

am being jealous or rational ?

so my boyfriend and i have been together for a little over 2 years now, i often feel like there is a major lack of communication( not intended but he just doesnt like me knowing) i can't name a single friend he has ( he says its not my business ) and granted we have been together for well over 2 years now and he also says he would like to get more serious.
so we were talking about places to go for the day &i mention a place we haveboth in the past have said we havenever been to.
he says he's already been, and that surprises me because not too long ago we both said we had each never been.
so i ask with who? he says friends, and i ask what friends? also in the 2 years+ we have been together i've noticed he never really hangs out with anybody.
he says it's none of my business.
but the month before he got upset because i called a random girl a w**** then he comes out with "thats my good friend " but when i ask where he met her or her name he says it isnt my business.
granted he was showing a picture of a half naked girl.
after that discussion a month ago he basically broke up with me because he was so offended i called this random girl i know nothing about a w****.
fast forward to a month ahead (now) i'm asking what this other friends name is and where they met and he tries to change the subject then when i start being a little irritated about that he basically says i'm being jealous crazy childish b**** for asking.
personally i don't feel like i am being jealous but i want to apologize if i am in the wrong.
what do you guys think? am i being jealous for wanting to know more about his friends ( because i know nothing) or is he being super shady? i personally feel like he's being shady, i feel like if you want to move in with someone you atleast have to know the basics right?he has access to my phone when ever he wants but i dont have any to his.
he is 11 years older than i am and has been previously married for 12 years and so i understand opening up to someone can be hard but shouldnt there be a line? currently feeling like theres no hope for this relationship, i'm not allowed to ask simple questions without being insulted and mocked afterwards for doing so.
it's kind of a downer.
i just never get compliments, but i do get reminded often of how i'm crazy ,retarded, basically any degrading insult.
please help.
if i am wrong then help me understand why & if not help me reassure why i'm not.

4 Answers

Whitewe Answered:

Do you not think it effects him when you call his friend a whore? Sounds like there’s more to the story that’s not being said.

Whitewe Answered:

Why would you call a random girl a whore? Sounds like you’re a bit childish and maybe there’s more to the story.

Ted1234 Answered:

Hi Well, I don't think you are being jealous. I mean what kind of relationship is this where you cant ask about friends who your partner hangs out with. Still, giving him the benefit of doubt, you should clearly speak to him about your concerns and let him know this will decide the future of your relationship. Perhaps this is the last thing that you can do else you really need to figure out if you want to continue with this or not.

Alaneholbrook Answered:

Take if from a guy (me) :-), your not being jealous, call it off. Even if he is NOT being "shady", lack of communication will eventually kill the relationship anyways. Age plays no role. It is what is inside, and who you are. I've know women in their 20's that I swear are over 40 with their attitude, disposition and knowldege, and then there are women at 40 that don't have their life together. Trust me, its not an age thing. If you ever get in a relationship where the phrase "none of your businiess" exists, your in the wrong one. Relationships are about trust.. And after 2yrs if it is still non of your business, your not trustworthy to him, and therefore he is not your guy. IMHO. :-)


Replied on Oct 16, 2017

thank you alaneholbrook ! after so many insults you actually begin to believe it.
it just kind of wears on your soul.
when he gets angry he raises his voice & will throw you any insult possible to try and make sure I hurt.
I don't like going there so it almost fuels his anger more when I don't react or I stay quiet.
it makes me happy that my gut feeling was right all along.

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