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Asked by Last Updated:

What can i do?

Ever since my mom passed away in 2010 ( she lived with us until her passing), my wife has become increasingly vocally abusive and enraged.
In 2011 I moved to Alabama as I was unable to find a job in Florida.
This put a strain on our relationship, but in May of 2012 she moved to Alabama with me.
I helped her get a job where I worked, and she made a good career out of it on her own merits.
In march of 2016 my step daughter ( my wife's daughter from a previous marriage) moved up with with her family and lived with us.
In October, my step daughter and wife got into a huge argument and my wife hut her.
My step daughter called the police.
When the police arrived, and after listening to both side, cuffed my wife and we're going to take her to jail.
I talked then out of it.
After the police left, my wife kicked her, her huasbansd, and my 3 grandchildren out.
Luckily I had a mobile home that recently had been vacated by my step son ( my wife's son) and his family.
Things got better but nit foe linbg before her telling and verbal abuse started again.
Nor knowing what else to do, I turned to online chat for friendship, companionship and chat.
This had happened one other time in 2002 dye to my wide taking a second shufdt job with long hours.
This time, as Bedford, she found out about it and now wants me to leave.
She takes no responsibility for what has happened and refuses to get help, either together or alone.
I contacted a marriage counselor named Natalie shipman, bur she refuses to go.
I am not perfect.
I know I have my faults and weaknesses.
I have always done my best to support my wife and her children.
She is my first, and orobavlty last wife.
I am her fourth husband.
I do not know what to do.
I have not been with another woman physically for 25 years.
Please help.

2 Answers

Tomgorham Answered:

I have tried talking to her about much less critical things with her in the car before and she has threatened to jump out. One time about directions! All conversations end up with her yelling and screaming at me, which makes me madder and the conversation goes no where. I feel my only option is to leave for a period of time to see if this helps. But, I do not want this to be considered abandonment by an Alabama judge. As she put it ( my wife) , I am trapped. Thank you for the advice. I greatly appreciate it. Tom

BruceKent Answered:

It seems like your wife needs to sort out a lot of things. You need to have a long fulfilling conversation with her, about everything you feel the need to talk about. Try and have this conversation in a suitable environment, like when you guys are on a long drive or something. The motto being there should be no disturbances during the conversation. Try discussing all the things that concern you, be careful to have a conversation and not let it convert into an argument. This seems to be the only suitable solution to your problem. Once you have done that, you will feel better.

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