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I’m miserable, why am I staying to protect her happiness?

I have been married to my wife for almost 9 years. We got married because we were having a child. She has never done anything wrong and has fully supported me in all that I need and want to do. She truly does adore me and worships the ground I walk on. For most guys, she sounds like a dream wife. The problem is, I just don’t have an attraction to her. I have felt this way for years and I always come up with some reason to stay and keep her happy. I have told her how I felt before, but I cannot bring myself to cause her to be unhappy so that I can keep from being miserable when she really has done nothing but support me. I am an avid motorcyclist and recently took a 4 day trip into the mountains. I did not miss her one bit and I feel guilty for that, but it is what it is. We have two children(9 and 6). I called to talk to them while I was gone, but whenever she was on the phone, I had some reason that I needed to get off the phone. (Tired, sore, need a shower, etc..). I know that I cannot live in this marriage forever and it’s going to hurt her, but how do I at least try to ease the blow a little bit?

1 Answer

ted1234 said on
There is no easy way to do this. She has loved you and knowing that you no longer love her it is going to be hard, really hard on her.
But even then, confessing your feelings and getting out of the relationship is the best thing you can do. We cannot truly live if we are not true to ourselves. And if being with her not something you want from withing then you must leave. But also prepare yourself for the overwhelming feelings of guilt that will follow. There are some things in life that you have to do no matter how hard they are, this is one of those things for you. Just take a deep breath, calll her in private and tell her what's going on in your mind. This is all you can do.
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