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Confused why my wife agreed to Trial Separation instead of divorce?

My wife wanted a divorce in the beginning.  However, she didn't want to file a divorce immediately and said there's no rush.  I suggested a trial separation because we were fighting constantly and I can tell this was pushing her to file for a divorce sooner than she wanted.  Before we started on this trial separation, I told her I am using this to cool down, think about what I have done wrong during our marriage, and I want to give it another shot.  She told me the she is using this to heal and cool down, but she can't guarantee she will be willing to reconcile after it is done.  She keeps telling me that I need to take care of myself and find happiness outside of "her".  We have been separated for a few weeks now and she is aware I have no source on income currently and I'm having trouble paying for living expenses.  She has offered to help me pay rent and because she wants time apart from me, has asked my family to help me with food.  
She's telling me there is no guarantee that this trial separation will work out, but she's giving me mix signals as to what her intentions are for agreeing to do this.  I try not to overthink this, but I can't help but wonder if she's trying to see if I make any changes during this process for her to feel it's worth reconciling or she's trying to let time make me more independent and when eventually she files for a divorce, I'll be able to handle it better emotionally?

1 Answer

ted1234 said on
Hi

In your case, you should be happy about one thing atleast that your wife still thinks about your well being. You should be happy about that. Don't think too much. If you still want to get back with her, find out ways of reconciliation, as that does seem possible with you. Don't be pessimistic, perhaps she really does care for you! It is also a possibility that she is also confused about leaving you. Breaking a marriage is no small deal. If keeping the marriage is a possibility then work on it and save it.
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