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Asked by Last Updated:

Is this okay?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year.
When we first started dating he told me that he smokes socially and he asked if I'd prefer him not to and that he'd stop if he wanted me to.
I said yes.
For the first 6 months he stopped smoking.
After a while I think he smoked a couple of times and I got mad because he didn't tell me about and I was helping him quit.
He said he wouldn't do it again and every time he got a craving I would help him by relaxing him or taking him somewhere to distract his mind.
A few days ago we got into an argument because his friend was smoking and he wanted one and kept asking me if he could have one.
Which I didn't like because it looked like I was controlling him in front of his friends.
I talked to him about it saying that I was uncomfortable with him doing that in front of his friends because I don't want them not liking me.
As I was upset he told me that he knows that they don't hate me, I asked him why, and he said that they said why but he doesn't want to tell me because I might be upset.
Then after me telling him to tell me he said that he asked them.
He said that they had a friend who is in a relationship where the girl didn't treat him that great and was controlling over the boyfriend.
He asked them if he was in that kind of relationship and they said no.
After that I got really upset because I thought he was having doubts about me and was gonna break up with me.
He said no and reassured me for a couple of hours that he loves me and doesn't want to be with anyone but me.
I'm still upset that he asked them that though.
Am I just overreacting? Is he gonna break up with me? Is it normal for guys to have talks like that to his friends? He said that he hasn't done it other that that one time and was having really bad cravings at the time 

1 Answers

Ted1234 Answered:

The thing is you cannot make anyone quit smoking, all you can do is help them quit. What you should do is tell your boyfriend that he doesn't need to ask for your permission if he wants to smoke, it's upto him if he wants to. If he wants to smoke he will and you would not even get to know it. He is just making you look controlling by asking you in front of his friends. You shouldn't bother what his friends think, you be nice to your boyfriend and to his friends, don't bother worrying so much about it.

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