been married for 6 yrs, together for 10.
My now wife came into the relationship with £20000 worth of debt, didn't tell me and I found out.
My family bailed her out then we agreed to be honest.
two yrs later bailiffs took her car for lack of payment and again the family helped with a new car.
I have just found £4000 more debts and credit cards that I didn't know about, plus she's been ripping up my post (to cover tracks).
I don't know what to do, I don't trust a word she says.
we have a 3yr old and a 2yr old :-(
This is a good example that I had when I got divorced with my wife. Once we had a big amount of money ( we have planned to take a loan for a car and this money was written on our family) my wife secretly stoled that money and went with a lover to another country and I was really shocked because of this. A couple of days later some guys from "private debt collectors" has come to me and we discussed how can we solve the problem together (they was pretty good guys btw)and I decided to take another loan to cover the current. I wish no one face this problem in personal life.
Money is a tough subject in any marriage whether its your first or your fourth. It alone can break up a marriage... My husband has debts sky high and I went in knowing but I also have student loans and other credit card debts which I pay for it on my lown. What is working for us--I got him to sit down with me and I put it all on paper. Everything he owed, all that I owed, and asked him openly on how we can work together to achieve financial freedom and that is being honest and open with each other about our spending and what we can bring into this marriage. If she finds shopping theraputic, then maybe suggest a new hobby? Good luck!!!!
It is very obvious you cannot trust your wife anymore and you shouldn't. That is not to say that you should take a rash decision and leave her. But, you and your wife must at once see a relationship therapist and legal counselor. Legal help will help you ascertain the exact amount your wife is liable to pay and how you can pay it off. Relationship therapist will help you understand what exactly is going on in your relationship and how you can move forward from this situation. You and your wife absolutely need professional help, you problem is way tedious for a layman to solve.