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My wife doesent seem to want to try to save our marriage

We've been married for 16 years, and were together 9 years before that. We met as young teens in grade school and have been together ever since. After we were married, we bought a small farm house and started a family. We now have 3 children, 14, 12, and 3. About 6 years ago we started building a huge barn, just us. It took a lot of hard work and every minute we had available. I was always a bit compulsive and became a workaholic. I started blaming her for never having any time to do things, and on the rare chance we did, I couldn't enjoy myself because all i could think about was the unfinished work. we completed the barn and 6 months later it burnt to the ground, taking all the animals and all our personal belongings with it. This barn was also home to her new grooming business. I started to build again and she said i want a divorce. All the years of arguing and me being controling. I never seen it coming. we have always been faithful, and didnt have other problems like money or sex issues. She refuses any counciling. I have been out of the house for 6 weeks. Every day is extremely difficult. Ive never been with anyone but her. She says she has no feelings for me, and wants to be alone.

Answers (5)

johnperes said on
I think there is communication gap between both of you. Moreover you should take advice from a marriage counselor, who can suggest you something best.
emmasmith said on
A relationship without trust is worthless,  You start to talk, But little efforts can improve your communication to a great extent.

Wayneshow said on May 8

We never developed any communication skills or learned to set boundaries.  I've been working for months with counseling to learn these skills, and talking to my pastor helps.  I'm afraid I might push her further away if I mention anything about wanting her to go to counseling. I asked her a couple months ago and she said it wont help. I believe it will. Is it a good sign that she hasn't actually filed yet?  She said her lawyer said it would be about $10,000 and she didn't hate me that much to take me to court.  Maybe she means she wants to split our properties without court? I'm confused.
AnkitaJain said on
Understanding and trust is the most important thing in relationships. If your wife is not comfortable with you, there are other is always other options for that. Talk to her what she wants and go ahead with your decision.
CarolynTFrank said on
Yeah, I also think there is a communication gap and being so much busy in the work you both forgot to express love for each other. I think you should give her some time to settle down with her feelings. And then you both with mutual consult take help from an expert. The lawyer does not only work on cases, but also provides counseling. The lawyer has experience of legal issues and can know the possible result of an action. A lawyer can be your guardian, agent and legal advisor as well. Hope you get the strength to deal with this situation and come out with the positive results.
CarolynTFrank said on
Yeah, I also think there is a communication gap and being so much busy in the work you both forgot to express love for each other. I think you should give her some time to settle down with her feelings. And then you both with mutual consult take help from an expert. The lawyer does not only work on cases, but also provides counseling. The lawyer has experience of legal issues and can know the possible result of an action. A lawyer right here can be your guardian, agent and legal advisor as well. Hope you get the strength to deal with this situation and get the positive results. 
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