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Asked by Last Updated:

Why? Oh, why!!!!

Been married 20 years recently found out he's been mentally cheating online with old school friends, various porn websites, and (the worst) a coworker my question is, in the mix of feelings like anger, sadness, and distrust I feel extremely horny, lustful.
For hm! Can anyone explain this? Is this normal?

2 Answers

NicoleT Answered:

I completely disagree with ted1234 on this. It is not twisted that you feel this way. Fantasizing about your partner with another women is a very common fantasy and you find yourself in the midst of it. I had this same reaction when I discovered by husband was cheating and in talking to other women in similar circumstances, many of them felt the same. Maybe it is that you have an urge to claim what is yours and this is how it manifests itself. Maybe it is the idea that another woman finds your man sexy that it makes him more desireable. Maybe it is simply the fantasy. Anyway, this type of behavior (your husband's) often leads to actual cheating. He is not happy in the marriage. Maybe the passionate sex that results from your horniness will break up the tension and bring you closer.

Ted1234 Answered:

Your problem is extremely twisted. You are strugging with a complicated psychological issue related to your relationship. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with you. I think you should seek guidance from a relationship counselor or a therapist.

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