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What does it mean when your partner always compliments other womens appearance but not you ?

My partner of many years has always been able to say complimentary things about other women's appearance ,but seems unable to do the same for me. Here is a recent example: He was talking about a woman in a mens magazine saying how gorgeous she was, and I told him that it hurt my feelings not because he thought she was gorgeous but he did not say anything to compliment me in return. So he said well yes she is gorgeous but you are here.  That was his big compliment.  It has been like this since the beginning of our relationship, and it is really  starting to kill my confidence .

Answers (2)

narnam said on
Hi there, 

You need to stop 'wishing that you were invisible'. You are a beautiful, loving and a caring soul... Please understand that all of us need validation of this from our partners - there is nothing wrong with your demand. Your husband is an insensitive ass....If I were you, instead of focusing on his negative remarks or the lack of postive ones, I would focus on myself and my appearances...Do not think of this as shallow. Self-care in a marriage is very important. Ask yourself: have your neglected your appreance? What about weight? Stay exercising, get in your best shape, take care of your skin, put on some new clothes and get yourself some new makeup with bright colors to accentuate your features.... Do this not for your husband but for yourself. Feel great first, gather your confidence,.... you have no reason to feel bad about yourself. He will surely notice in time....m sure many others around you will too! 

wishiwereinvisible said on Feb 13

I have done all of these things , I exercise regularly, I have always dressed up even for bed.  I am  slender  though not as slim as I was in my 20's when he said I was thin and bony.   Lately I have not wanted to dress up , put on makeup or do my hair , it doesn't seem to make a difference.  And if someone else compliments me he basically says they don't mean it .
emmasmith said on
You should go for couples counseling! Counseling provides opportunity for you to understand relationship differently. You can improve your loving engagement, nagging issues, and strengthen communication skills through private exercises with your partner.
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