Can someone PLEASE give me hope.
My wife and I have been married 24 years.
We have 2 chikdren, 21 and 16.
We've had more than our share of ups and downs.
Worrying about money, kids, jobs, etc.
Several years ago my wife weighed about 270lbs.
She had gastric bypass surgery and lost a lot of weight.
Last winter she started seeing a personal trainer and got in even better shape.
Then she got a breast augmentation.
About the same time she was having very bad periods.
We found out she had fibroid tumors.
Instead of a hysterectomy her gyn put her on the hormone progesterone.
Immediately she started having very extreme mood swings.
Things that used to get on her nerves made her fighting mad.
Things have went downhill ever since.
About 6 weeks ago she came to me and said tgat shes not happy anymore and diesnt find me attractive.
I admit as I've gotten older I've put on some weight and lost some of my hair.
We agreed to try counselling.
At our first session she said she wanted to be happy and have fun.
The next session she went by herself.
That night she angrily demanded we separate.
She moved out and left our 15 year old daughter with me.
At our next session she admitted shes been "talking" to another guy since the time she told me she wasnt happy.
She agreed to stop all communication with him while we were going through counselling.
By the way, hes a painter, has 5 kids, lives with his mom, and has been in jail a couple of times for beating his ex wife.
That next weekend, after she blew off our son who was wanting to spend time with her, I caught them together with his son at his mothers house.
That night she told me she had feelings for him.
She didn't go back to counselling.
She also had very little to do with either of our kids.
Shes been caught in lies to not only me but our kids and her parents and sister.
This past weekend I was served with divorce papers.
My wife and I are both 44 years old.
We were 20 when we got married.
By the way, shes scheduled for a hysterectomy next month.
Can someone PLEASEgive me some hope of saving our marriage?
Your kids need you to be there for them right now, I suggest that you plan some enriching and enjoyable times for your family without her, and spend time with lots of heart to heart talks exploring their feelings without hatefulness toward your ex. The sage advise I have recieved in the past is that the only person I can change is myself. If her behavior is robbing you of all your joy, it is because you are offering it up! I suggest that you join a gym, maybe the Y.M.C.A. with your daughter, because exercise will make you feel better mentally and emotionally. In the past when I was going through a very rough time, the personal relationship I recieved with Jesus, after asking for it, was a great comfort to me. I found a good Bible believing church, which helped me with new (sympathetic) friends for me and healthy activities and friends for my teenagers. As her life becomes intolerable as a result of her choices, she wil begin to notice that you are doing fine. At that time you can begin to put your relationship back together if that is what you choose to do.