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Asked by Last Updated:

Am I being too narrow minded to not like husband and his dad sharing too much?

Husband shares many things with his dad and it sometimes annoys me.
 My husband is very close to his dad and they have a strong influcence over one another.
 They work together too so carpool to the office (we live close), go on business trip together etc.
 We had prior issues with his dad just spending too much time at our house to see grandson and wanting to have dinner together everyday as a big family and shows he is disappointed when we can't dine together.
 That struggle lasted for almost a year where I've been complaining to my husband his dad is being too close and even my son would ask where is grandpa on the few occasions my husband comes home alone.
 Anyways, after some counselling, my husband finally got the idea that it's too much and things have gotten better.
 But there's one thing that bothers me too, I know it might be me being picky.
 It's quite small but when it adds up it just annoys me, so i want to see how i should approach this.
 Those samll things include them sharing socks i buy for my husband, father-in-law buying sames kinds of shoes my husband just purchased, and now I got my husband a new backpack and he wants me to help get his dad get the same one too.
 For me it's just annoying to see as I choice those things for my husband thinking it would look good on him and then soon his dad would be wearing the same thing.

1 Answers

Carrie32 Answered:

Aren't you being too picky here? Your husband and father in law happen to share a great bonding. Is there anything wrong with that? I think not. You had a problem that your father in law was invading on your space (as a family) and inviting himself too often for dinners, etc. Well, you spoke about it to your husband and the problem was solved. To an extent, acoording to you. Now, you feel he's buying the same kind of things that your husband recently got...Well, what can be done about that? Not much I feel. He's a free man and can buy whatever he likes. 

Here are a few things I feel you should consider:

1) Try to not let this bother you: If you constantly tell your husband that you have a problem with the fact that he's too close to his dad, then he may not take it too well. Of course, you need to encourage healthy boundaries, and that I'm sure even your husband would understand, but as much as possible don't make it sound like you have a problem. Create your own space and importance; you certainly have nothing to lose here. 

2) Create a connection with your father-in-law as well: I think if you try and understand him, you won't have much of a problem with him. Get to know him, and unite as a family. Your husband will surely apprecaite this gesture and things will definitely be a lot smooth. 

Let me know if this helps....



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