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Asked by Last Updated:

Am I asking too much

I have been married for a little over 2 years and been with my husband for 5 years, I'm not sure where to start, but I can say our relationship was not built on trust, he cheated on me physically with his son's mother when we had been together for just 5 months (after he had asked me to marry him) He also lied about talking to a girl he had met at work, she was an inmate and he was a CO, he told me she put the number in his phone when she had used it, but a few years after being married he said they had texted some(which he said he told me but never did).
But we didn't get married until about 3 years of being together and living together.
He never told me any of these things, I found them out.
When we were about ot get married he changed his mind over a disagreement, even tough his own family told him he was wrong.
But we nded up getting married around the time we were supposed to, even though I had bought a dress and had everything planned, we had all that cancelled after he had changed his mind, but like stated got married soon after anyways but in our small living room with just us.
So fast forward we were doing pretty well, I started nursing school as well as working and the closer I got to finishing the less connected I felt, I tried to keep telling him how I was feeling, but to no avail.
At first he said he understood and he would work on it, but he never did.
so after a while I would bring it up again, but in the now, he's telling me it is what it is.
I ve told him all I want is a little more romance, but he says I want too much from him and that I don't do anything.
etc, it always comes back to being my fault somehow, and I also found out he just joined snapchat and had some pictures of a girl on him computer from snapchat.
So I decided it was time to show him I am not playing and went to stay with my mom for a few days, wel it's going on 3 full days and I have not heard ANYTHING from him at all.
I honestly don't feel like he care anymore, but doesn't want to go through a divorce.
Which I dont either but I can't go the rest of my life being unhappy either.
 So I am looking for any advice whether I'm going to far or he's really giving up and not going to change at all.

2 Answers

emmasmith Answered:

He is cheated you and not too serious about this marriage, I think you should end this.

Carrie32 Answered:

There were too many red flags before the wedding, girl. You choose to ignore them thinking that this man would change. My impression of him is that he's fickle, cheating and not too serious about this marriage. He cheated on you before and there's no way you can change that. If he was so keen about making amends, he would have nourished the marriage... at least in the last 3 days, he could have connected with you to show that he cared. Sadly, that was not the case. I think you should end this....but that's just an outsider feeling this way. Why don't you ask yourself what you truly want.....happiness or staying in the marriage trying to make things better?

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