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What else can I do?

My husband has convinced himself that I'm cheating on him. Not only now, but that I've done so in the past multiple times. I have never cheated, or even considered cheating! For a little over a week now, we've been repeatedly having the same argument. He's accusing me of cheating, and I'm honest with him that it's never happened or never been a possibility of happening. Also, he's saying that I do nothing at all to help around the house. We have 4 kids and I'm the only one working at this time, so I don't do as much around the house as he does, but I do help. I cook dinner every night, and clean up afterward. I help with the laundry, which he usually runs through the washer and dryer, and I put away. I do the majority of the work with the kids when I'm home. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong! Since this argument started last week, he has completely disconnected himself from the entire house. He doesn't do anything around the house, doesn't speak to me unless he needs something or wants to argue, hardly speaks to the kids at all (which is not fair to them, as they have done nothing to deserve that.), and has completely taken over my phone to the point that I hardly speak to anyone at all. Can someone, anyone, please give me advice on how to make it through this with our family still intact??

1 Answer

helpingsoul said on
Hi Invisible, 

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this trouble, Invisible. You wish to know how you can "'make it through this with our family still intact?? " Do you know what it takes to keep a family together? It takes 2 individuals, committed and working towards the relationship / marriage to do that. From what I understand in this message is that what your husband is doing is completely unacceptable. You say he has "'completely taken over my phone to the point that I hardly speak to anyone at all "" This is abusive behaviour. When abuse seeps into any relationship, it becomes traumatic and there's little space left to breatthe. I see this happening with you now. But since you have kids, of course, you are worried what will happen to the family , you cannot just leave all this behind you. He needs to understand that he cannot do this to you and the kids - this behaviour will scar their minds for good. As for him being suspicious about your behaviour, what is the basis for this? What have you done in the past that makes him so insecure ? What is the real problem with your relationship? It may be hard to pin point  just one thing...It could be layers of issues, bad habits, thoughts and unresolved matters that are hurting so now.  

I strongly advice you to visit a professional couselor and get help. It is not advisable for you and the kids to live in such a dysfunctional home. You need to do this to save your marriage. Good luck! 

   
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