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Asked by Last Updated:

Apathy 25 years married.

We have been married for 25 years and together for 27 years.
We have five children, two that came with my wife and three that we have had since.
The children are all now adults and all but the youngest has left home (the youngest left then came back to study for another two years).
The problem is this I just find it hard to feel enthusiastic about our marriage/wife.
I know that I have to work at it and I do, I believe that I am attentive, affectionate, supportive etc.
It's not that I don't like my wife.
She is an attractive and exceptional person in many ways.
She is hardworking, kind, faithful, trustworthy and has no malice within her.
I know that to find another such person would be very difficult indeed.
I find the thought of living without her no more or less attractive than living with her.
Sounds pretty apathetic I know.
I am 57 years old and have over the last 6 years lost my closest friends( cancer and heart attack).
I have no one with whom I can talk about this.
I know that to share these thoughts with my wife would be deeply upsetting for her, she seems fairly happy with things.
So my questions are these: 1) Anyone reading this got any ideas, experience advice? 2) Walking away from this seems absurd after so many years,but neither do I want to simply "mark time" until the grim reaper comes for me.

1 Answers

mathisurendran Answered:

You are going through a depression phase in your life. When persons close to you die it makes you feel empty and cynical. You feel there is nothing in life that is worthy. It also reflects in your relationship if you brood too much about your loss. You say your wife is a very good person. Do you know it is very rare to see such understanding wife in this modern age. You are just 57. You have a long innings ahead of you. This is the time which can be very precious to your relationship. You have fulflilled your duties. You can relax and enjoy your life. Go for vacations with your wife. Spend quality time with her. Pray for your friends. That is all you can do. Life has to go on.

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