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Asked by Last Updated:

How do we meet in the middle

My bf and I have 4 kids i have 3 from prev marriage and he has one.
We recently moved in together and since then its been super rocky.
He is EXTREMELY CLEAN and Ill be honest I am not organized but I am not dirty.
BUt the issue isnt with me its with our kids WHO ARE TEENS AND ONE IS SMALLER.
But let me say this my house has NEVER been so clean before and my kids have never been so tiddy before BUT they do still not do what they are told sometimes or they forget to do their chores etc.
In my mind we have come very far to try to meet my honeys needs for a clean home.
But sometimes he gets upset over little things well to me they are.
For example if we dont ring out the dish sponge he gets mad because it starts to smell which it does but really a sponge? I mean he doesnt just say "hey guys please remember the sponge" he gets visibly irritated and then says the kids dont love him because they dont do what he says.
I say they are 15 year old kid kids and I dont know any kids who are as clean as him.
To me its the small things that shouldnt matter because at the end of the day he has all of us who love him so why does a sponge matter.
Then he says I dont have his back if I dont say something lije he does.
I just think we have come so far and have gone above and beyond to make him feel our home is very clean but its not enough.
I mean if the kids put the milk in the fridge the wrong way he gets irritated and says they are lazy.
I just dont know now if its me or him who is wrong or both.

1 Answers

Helpinghand Answered:

I think what you are trying to say here is that you as well as your kids have done and are doing your best to please him and maintain the harmony in the house. Sometimes, it is the smallest of things that upset us - this is exactly what is happening with your boyfriend. He needs to be more appreciative of others, and especially be patient with kids. 

Here's what you can do to help him out:

1) Whenever he creates a fuss and starts to complain, do not react. Stay calm as much as possible and remind him that they will learn and get better.   2) Have a private chat with him and tell him how you feel. Explain that others can also get annoyed with his habits and that's why its important to let such small things go.    3) Have a word with your kids as well. Be patient and sweet with them. Make sure to appreciate them and request them to be patient as well.   At the end of the day, you need to stay calm and wise about the whole thing. In time, hopefully things should improve :) 


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