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Asked by Last Updated:

Twin needs marriage/relocation advice

i am a 32 yo twin who has been married for a year and a half.
 My twin and i are extremely close and we have both been struggling for several years because since college we have not lived in the same town.
 It has been almost 10 years since we set the goal and my bro graduated but our careers (both engineers) have kept us apart and it is really weighing hard on me.
  My wife is tempermental and easily agitated but she knows that my bro and i are close and want to live in the same town but now she wants to buy a house.
 She put an ultimatum down basically saying by Christmas she wants a new house.
 I am struggling hard with this bc i dint really care for the town we are currently in but bith our careers so far are here.
 No family, friends, or any other relationships are nearby where we live now so that isnt an issue holding us here.
 My wife is a nurse and can get a job at most any hospital.
 Am i wrong for wanting to live with my bro?  She makes me feel guilty all the time and being here is not healthy for me.
 I've spent countless hours and sleepless nights on this and am struggling mightily.
 Am i wrong on this?

1 Answers

Helpinghand Answered:

There is no right or wrong in this. But I think you need to create some sort of balance in your life. What I mean is, you need to make your wife feel important. Why is she behaving this way? Why is she not hearing you out? Perhaps she feels insecure that if you stay close to your brother / family, then perhaps you may drift away from her. That could be the reason she now insists you buy a house in this town. Once you have explained to her and given her all the love and attention she deserves, she will understand your need to be close to your brother and friends and family. Do be patient; both couples need to be comfortable about where they live. Even after you have moved to where you want to be, make sure you strike a balance between your family and your wife. This is extremely important - I have seen many relationships get complicated due to too much proximity as well. The key here is to be able to communicate your intensions effectively & strike a balance.

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