Sometimes you have no other choice but to file for a divorce. I wish you the best of luck, you seem like a great person.
Try saving it one last time though, before you finally take the plunge.
I have been there and done that, so I understand the feelings of loneliness and sadness that you are feeling. The depressed feelings that you are having are normal and are something that can overtake your life if you are not careful since you are basically standing there watching your family and the life that you have come to love slip through your fingers.
You say you have been working for years to save your marriage. What sort of problems do you have? It is very easy to divorce, but very difficult to save it. You might think that divorce is an easy way out. But in actual facti it isn;t. Divorce has finality attached to it. It can destroy your mental peace. Do you have children? Divorce can shatter their lives.It is strange why couples opt for divorce instead of trying to build up their marriages. Everyone has relationship problems. There is no perfect marriage in this whole world. There is no perfect spouse either. I think unless your spouse is a maniac you should try to save your marriage. You will feel you have made the right choice as you age.
I shall also suggest to try marriage counseling if you haven't done it yet. This could be the lifebelt you've been missing during last years. If you already have tried everything.. it's about time to file for divorce then. You've done anything possible to save your marriage, accept the fact it is over and open a new page. .
It takes two dedicated partners for healthy relationship. It you are the only one putting efforts on saving your marriage then maybe it is about time to file for divorce. Maybe your partner takes you for grantedand the real situation of losing you could make him/her overthink your marriage. But you should know it is a desparate move and if it doesn't wokr there i no coming back. Which might be good for you - will make you free :)
You might have been trying to save your marriage but have you been using the right techniques, sometimes we react in a way that we might deem as the right way, but it might not be seen so by your other half. Try to discover new methods and techniques of helping your marriage. Enlist the help of a professional if needed!
If you're exhausted all options in saving your marriage including visiting a marriage counsellor to resolve the issues in your relationship, then perhaps divorce might be the only route. Sometimes marriages have run their course and there is no turning back to a normal relationship. This is especially so if both partners do not love each other anymore and have no desire to remain married.
Making the decision to file for a divorce is an extremely personal one that involves weighing many factors. Simply being unhappy in a marriage shouldn’t automatically warrant seeking a divorce except with careful consideration. If there are serious unalterable problems such as abuse or neglect, or when both parties no longer want to work it out, you may have no choice but to file for divorce. In other cases where infidelity or serious financial issues may be threatening the relationship, seeking out marriage counseling may be an alternative to filing legal paperwork. If it doesn’t work out after giving your best effort, then divorce would be the only obvious choice.