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I'm divorcing my husband. But I'm afraid what will happen with our kids? What can I do to keep the bond intact?

Answers (8)

HotDate said on
How old are your children? If they are still toddlers, they won't remember the separation and if they are grown enough you may explain them the reasons you are divorcing their father. Surround them with love and spend quality time together. It is really important to explain them no matter what has happened between you and their father it doesn't mean your love for them has changed and they are not the reason for your separation.
SULLIVAN41 said on
Divorce is hard on everyone involved, including the children. Special care should be taken to ensure that they are able to process the drastic changes they’ll experience, which can be traumatizing. If you’re interested in keeping your relationship with your kids strong, you should spend extra time with them during the divorce and make sure they have a clear understanding of what will happen afterward. Always honor your commitments to your children, since they will be on the lookout for signs of instability during this unsettling time. Make sure you spend plenty of time with them, by phone or internet even if you’re far away.
Honorable said on
Kids need to know this separation is for good and your love for them is even stronger and no, it doesn't mean now they can have everything they want as you are paying for their disposal.
lifewanderer said on
Hello there, thanks for sharing your issues. I would first like to start off by saying that you need to decide for yourself what you want for your kids, and it has to be based on what is best for them. If your husband is taking custody of them because he can take better care of them, then so be it. The only way that you can keep the bond intact is if you communicate with them regularly. In fact, if you are really concerned about their welfare, you can visit them to take care of them.
yosemitefaerie said on
Make sure that you play a very big role in the lives of your children. You can fight for that during a custody battle where you can aim to get joint custody of the kids even if you are unable to get full custody. If you were not granted any rights to be able to see your child, then try to communicate through  non face-to-face methods, such as email, phone or online chats.
Margoz said on
I am sure what is happening is for good, for all of you. For the children is important to grow in a healthy environment, think what is best for them first. Take good care of them and do explain well that your separation has nothing to do with them. Treat them like grownups and listen to what they have to tell about your divorce and their future custody.
morninjoy said on
Do what's needed to provide the best environment for them and make sure you play a major part in theis lifes, no matter with whom they live after your divorce. Assure them your love for them is not changing by the fact you are divorcing.
mathisurendran said on
I do not know the reasons behind your divorce. But it definitely will affect the happiness of your children. Suddenly they are thrown into a situation where they have to live with a single parent.
But if your married life had been abusuve they would have been witness to your arguments and fights with your husband. If you were in the right and your husband had been callous and totally abusive towards you they would understand your stand. But if you were the reason behind the divorce they would inwardly resent you.
You should talk to them frankly. If you remarry immediately it is another blow to their happiness. You have to be very patient to retain your bond with them.
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