Try looking at the newspaper classifieds in your area, or pick up a wellness or marriage magazine. These should have some listings or advertisements of certified counsellors who are more than capable of helping you with your issues. This can also be done discreetly too, so that none of your family or friends will know about it.
It can be as discreet as you want it to be. The internet is generally a very discreet and anonymous place where you can source for reputable counsellors. Make sure that there is no one beside or behind you while you are doing this search on the computer and of course tell your spouse not to let anyone know that you are/will be going for counselling sessions.
Most people seek referrals from friends and family to find the right marriage counselor, but if you’re concerned about being discreet, there are still some options. If your medical insurance carrier has a website, they probably also provide an online listing of providers. You can search through their list to find a counselor in your area, and then call them to see if they’re accepting new patients. If you’re accessing marriage counseling without the benefit of insurance, you can still find one online. Try the website of the American Psychological Association to find a qualified marriage and family therapist.