By giving it your all. You can fix things. But you must know that what you are trying to save is worthy of being saved as well. Like in case of violence - that's abuse and must never be tolerated in a marriage. The best thing to do is speak to a professional counselor. By doing this, you will get deeper insight into the problem that is troubling your relationship. Sometimes, since both partners are so involved and going through so many emotions on their own, its hard to identify what is going on. A counselor can help you out and assist in bringing out the change needed in personalities and attitudes to transform the relationship. Speak to your partner and consider this very seriously. Couples therapy is highly recommended .