We’ve been married for a few years now, but I feel like my husband looks down on me. He doesn’t seem to show me the same respect he once had for me. I was laid off a few years ago and have been struggling to find a job. I am an educated woman and don’t feel the need to take a job paying minimum wage. I do little jobs around the neighborhood to make a little money here and there, but just to cover the gas in my car and groceries. When he gets home from work he complains about the kids, the house not being clean enough, and him not understanding why he should help out around the house. I feel like less of a woman and I don’t know what to do anymore. Can someone please help me?
Sometimes, I wonder if men really know the task of being a stay at home mom. I have two young children and have been telecommuting from home for a few years. I started off fulltime, but within a few months I had to cut down on my work hours. Being a stay at home mom is completely different than working outside the house. I have to manage the kids, cooking, cleaning, their schedules, and my work schedule. It is no easy job. My kids are still young and are home most of the day. I rarely ever get a break from them, except when they are at a playdate.
I would suggest you sit down with your husband and express how you are feeling. Walk him through your daily work routine on one of his off days. Open his eyes to your world and just maybe he won’t be quick to judge.
How about you spend more time looking for work (if that’s what you want to do) than attending to the house chores. The biggest mistake I made after being laid off of work a few months ago was telling my husband about my job search. He couldn’t understand what I was going through because he had a great city job. He would always talk about the hundreds of jobs out there, if I really wanted to work. After tolerating the demeaning comments for a few months, I stopped talking to him about it. He couldn’t understand, so what was the point in talking with him about anything. I did what I needed to do for myself. It took me almost eleven months to find a decent job, but I was able to find something.
Keep your head up!
I remember when 9/11 happened and I was laid off. I did the whole job search thing for months, networked with friends and family, and went back to school for some refresher courses. After months of low offers and rejection letters, I decided that I was tired of being rejected. I made a choice to start-up my own business. I searched the internet for months, reading every book I could get my hands on about starting a business, and then I launched my idea. Things have been pretty great for me. There are a lot of business ideas available on the internet; you just have to be creative.