I've never been to a counselor, mainly because I do not really have the financial resources available to spend on the service, and I have not met an obstacle so huge in my marriage that required intervention from an expert yet (I hope not!). Usually when my marriage hits a snag, and there is no clear and visible solution that comes quickly to the minds of both myself and my husband, I do an online search and read through forums, articles and guidebooks. If I can't find anything concrete, I then head to the library for a look at relevant books I could read and apply.
That seems to be quite impossible but as we say all is well that ends well. Saving you marriage without the help of a counselor can be a long process. As marriage counseling does not work in some cases. For this make communication, physical intimacy your priority. Bring changes in yourself that you want to see in your mate. You should get some facts clear before approaching a counselor, that too when situations are not under your control.
Friend, don't forget your vows you took during marriage.
There are many books and online articles that you can consult for tips and tricks of how to fix a marriage. You have to search for a book that appears relevant and applicable to yourself and your spouse and do your best to implement those tactics for your marriage. This will only work however, if both you and your spouse are committed to making the best of the marriage.
If you’re having marital problems, fixing them on your own can be difficult. That’s because you’re almost always going to be using the same tools to fix the problem as the ones that got you into trouble in the first place. To fix problems in your relationship, you’ll need to learn some new tools, such as better communication skills and listening habits. If you want to tackle problems on your own, make sure you understand healthy communication patterns such as “I statements” and active listening. Be sensitive to your spouse’s feelings and work together for solutions.