Having kids can definitely affect a marriage. Mine definitely was in a negative way. One of the things that attracted me to my husband was how much he valued his family. I loved that he was such a family man. But when we had kids, he just doesn't seem to be able to connect with them. His lack of connection and interest in them has been a huge turn off for me as I thought he would be a very attentive, loving dad. Now that my kids are older, they really don't care for their dad. He just makes small talk with them. Unfortunately there's no way of knowing before you have kids how things will be once you do have kids.
The birth of a baby has a truly profound effect on any marriage, especially if it is your first baby. You are not quite sure what to expect and you both have to learn how to care for this precious new little life. It is a time when your own needs and selfishness go out the window as you focus on the needs of your baby. When there is tension between mother and father this can be very difficult, not only for them but also for the baby who can subconsciously pick up the negative atmosphere. There is always possibility for dealing with the difficulties by seeking help through competent marriage counseling and therapy and by seeking to build a support structure around your relationship of caring friends and family. Do not allow yourself to become isolated and alone. Many people have been through what you are going through and they can help you. Get help!
Many couples discover their relationship becomes much more difficult to maintain after the birth of a baby. That’s usually because babies demand a lot of time and attention, leaving little energy in reserves for couples to deal with everyday conflicts that arise and the stress that comes from lack of sleep. Discussing the likelihood of these problems before the baby arrives is just as important as learning labor and delivery skills such as breathing and supportive behavior. You should have a plan in place for how you will handle nighttime feedings, who will bathe the baby and when the primary caregiver will be relieved for breaks.
Though having a child is one of the happiest periods in life for both men and women, the newly born needs care and attention and brings dramatic change to a couple's life which can bring difficult situations in the marriage. Just don't forget to take care of the father as well, otherwise somene else may do it!
Sometimes women are focused strictly on the child after giving birth and men search attention outside the marriage.. In this case difficulties in marriage can even reach separation. Not to forget the hormonal and physical change in mother's body during and after pregnancy.. Yes, having a baby is a tough period in a marriage.