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How can I avoid everyday conflict in my marriage?

Answers (7)

Lolita said on
Keep your eye on the big picture. It can be easy to let the little things irritate and annoy you, but are they really so important? Try to discuss them when you are both relaxed, and try to use ``I´´ instead of ``you´´, e.g. ``I feel upset when...´´. Sometimes there is something you can do differently that will make the outcome different, for example, if he always squeezes the tube of toothpaste in the middle, buy plastic tubes instead of metal ones. It sounds ridiculous, but the little things can kill a relationship, so it is worthwhile looking for easy ways to sort them out.
Nickol said on
If you have everyday conflicts in your marriage maybe you are just not ment to be together :) If the conflict situations are the kind Lolita gives as examples, it's ok, everybody have it :)) If it's about major disagreements on basic questions and all your energy goes for settling fires in the relationship, maybe yu shall think of a separation as an option.
newlywedgal said on
As they say, patience is a virtue. Try not to be petty with the little things, or blast out for small reasons. It's better to speak in gentle persuasive tones rather than use harsh words that can hurt feelings. If everyday conflict is brought about by an underlying issue, then speak alone to your partner about it. Let them know that you are still on their side even if you do not have the same view. Most importantly, agree to disagree!
BestBuddy said on
Respect and communication are the key words here. Point to each other what behaviour is inappropriate, what situations you cannot stand in, what is really important skip the useless chatter (you have girlfriends for that reason) and never tell him what he has to do in the house directly from the entrance. Respecteach other's personal space and be creative on the love field ;)
redrice89 said on
Issues are bound to emerge on a daily basis in a marriage, but I wouldn't call them conflicts, especially if it's about the little things. It's better somehow to see it as a communication process, much like the one you might have with colleagues. If your colleague has not done some parts of the work or not done it well, I'm sure that you won't go screaming in their face about it at first right? We will likely tell them somewhat aloofly what they have left out and remind them to do it again. It might be better if we see our spouses colleagues in the home, with special benefits.
SUMMERS said on
Everyday conflict in marriage is part of the process of becoming close with someone.  You can and should avoid hurting your spouse’s feelings by being sensitive to their needs and knowing what can set them off.  However, you don’t want to tiptoe around the house, trying not to trigger an explosion.  Instead, learn from the conflicts you have while the consequences are small.  Teach one another what you want and need in your relationship, and endeavor to please each other with your behavior.  That will ensure that conflict is minimized over time – not because of avoidance behavior but because of real harmony in your relationship.
FLEMING01 said on
The say you need to choose your battles and this can be good advice. Take a very careful look at what exactly are the things that are causing conflict in your marriage every day. Are they big things or a whole lot of very small things? Can you find some other ways of coping with the small things rather than fighting about it? For example, if you fight about household chores you could sit down and reach an agreement about who does what, even make a roster, so that it’s clear to see and doesn’t need arguing about. If there are bigger underlying issues you may need to get some help from a counselor. Speaking with an objective third party can sometimes help you to get the perspective you need.
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