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Asked by Last Updated:

Do We Care about Each Other as Good Friends Do?

When you’re getting serious about someone, don't ask: “Are we in love?” The question to first ask instead is: “Are we becoming good friends?” “Being in love” often means infatuation, romance, and high chemistry – things that are essentially selfish.
This type of “love” is not a good reason to get married, but friendship is.
Friendship is not selfish.
Real love is about giving to and caring about another person’s life.
As Shaya Ostrov says in his book, The Inner Circle,"I’m watching you, hearing you, paying attention to you.
I’ve put it all together and have arrived at the conclusion that you and your life mean something to me.
" That’s why the essence of real love is friendship

1 Answers

Rosy Andrews Answered:

That's so true! I once read a study in The Journal of Happiness that said partners who were also best friends experienced twice the marital satisfaction than other married couples. The point is, you're right on the money!
Friendship is a great foundation for a close romantic relationship because it helps build emotional intimacy (instead of simply the physical intimacy and infatuation that you mentioned that comes from that initial rush of romance).
There's an amazing article about friendship (found here: https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/nurture-love-and-friendship-in-marriage/) that I think you'll enjoy reading. It goes even deeper into why a great friendship leads to lasting love.

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