From the male perspective, men often do not seem to realize how much work and effort are involved in maintaining a relationship. They seem to think that once you have established a relationship you are good to go, once and for all. Just as your car needs to be kept in good supply of fuel, oil and water, cleaned regularly and the engine serviced from time to time – so a relationship needs to be nurtured and maintained. You would not be a good car owner if you drove your car recklessly for months and months until it had a complete breakdown. So if a relationship is important to you, spend enough time together, have deep conversations, learn to listen carefully, and get help when you need it.
Men may often worry that if they get into a relationship, it will mean giving up their freedom. They may not be able to pin down exactly what freedoms they think they’ll lose, and listing them may make the problem sound trivial. But what men tend to fear is actually a loss of autonomy. The social anxiety around this topic has introduced the term “whipped” into our modern vernacular. It means someone (a man) who is too submissive to his girlfriend or wife, and it’s seen as emasculating. Men must realize that there are tradeoffs in relationships. Giving up a little bit of autonomy for the privilege of having someone to care about you always may be worth it in the end.