Divorce is never something which should be entered into quickly or hastily. If you have tried to save your marriage through counseling and every effort on your part, and after much soul searching you have concluded that there is no hope and no future for you together, then it is probably better to file for a divorce. You may need to hire an attorney who can help you through the legal process. And you will need support from friends or family who will stand by you through this difficult decision. Getting help from a professional counselor is also advisable.
Some states may require a reason when a couple files for divorce, and when you’ve just grown apart or don’t have a good relationship, it can be difficult to provide a good rationale. Oftentimes, states will allow for a simple “irreconcilable differences” claim, where neither spouse is held accountable, which is accepted at face value as long as both parties agree. If the marriage is indeed hollow, it shouldn’t be difficult to get the spouse to agree to a divorce, and as long as your state gives has the option of filing a no fault divorce, you can consult an attorney and begin the process.
If you are thinking about divorce, you must be really unhappy and I would think you have tried counselling already. The first step would then be to separate with one of you moving out of the family home. It is less disruptive for the children if they can remain in the home with one of the parents. Mt somewhere neutral to work out the terms you both can live with. Remember that neither of you will probably be happy with all the terms but you need to compromise to sort this out quickly. The longer it drags on the more costly it gets. An uncontested divorce is the quickest and cheapest but you need to have agreed to terms. Get your lawyers to draw up papers and negotiate if you cannot talk to each other.