In order to save a marriage, both partners need to realize that their marriage is in trouble, and both of them need to be motivated to do something about the problems. If you do not want to go to a counselor, then perhaps you could read some excellent books that have been written about marriage and marriage problems. It is also possible to work through DVD’s and workbooks which are available to deal with marriage issues. Having friends to share with who understand what you are going through is a great help.
Counselors are helpful because they have training and insights that most people don’t, but you can learn some of their tools if you’re willing to study a little. The self-help section of your local library or bookstore will have many titles that offer relationship advice, suggested exercises and activities that can help you repair the damage to your marriage. Be willing to try something new, and don’t revert to old habits. Learn how to make “I statements” and engage in active listening. They may feel odd at first, but learning better communication skills can always help a relationship.