While you are in the process of finding healing for your marriage relationship you need to have lots of patience – patience with yourself, with your spouse, and with those who are helping you. Your marriage may have taken several years to deteriorate and come to the point where you realized you needed help and healing. In the same way it will take time to heal and to learn new ways of behaving and relating to one another. Don’t be discouraged if some days are difficult and it seems that nothing has changed. Keep persevering and you will see change, growth and healing taking place in due course.
If you and your spouse are overcoming a major setback in your relationship, keep these things in mind. · Progress is not linear. You will not move a step forward every day. Expect instead to take a few steps forward and a few steps back, because setbacks should be expected. · Things will not improve without better communication. Practice active listening, and learn to use “I statements” rather than “You statements.” · Respect and trust are just as important as love when healing from wounds. Be sure you are also trusting and respecting yourself, and that you are trustworthy with your spouse.
Healing your marriage is going to take time, so don’t expect to fix it in weeks or even a month or two. You will need to be very loving and patient with each other. You will need to allow each other to express their feelings without getting angry nd defensive. You will need to keep your eye on the goal of a happy marriage when it seems impossible. It will be difficult but many marriages are even stronger and happier after a traumatic period like this.