Communication skills are essential in any relationship and especially marriage. One of the very first steps is to learn to be a good listener. When your spouse is speaking, try to concentrate on what he or she is saying, without thinking about what you are going to reply as soon as they stop talking. Listen not only to the words, but also to the tone, and notice what is not being said. Let your main aim be to understand the other person better, and to let them know that the relationship is important enough to you to take the time to work on your communication skills.
The problem with communication is that we have all been raised to communicate in different ways. If you were always taught ``If you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything´´, it is going to be difficult to raise contentious issues. If one party comes from a loud, vocal, emotional family they will be used to this way of communicating. The other party, who may be used to sitting down to discuss things quietly or who just wants to keep the peace, is not going to understand or like this. This is where counselling can help each couple see the other’s point of view and enable them to work out their own, effective way of communicating with each other.
Communication problems in a marriage may stem from many different sources, but the most common is simply different communication styles and personalities. Do you know whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert? How about your spouse? These differences can cause communication problems and misunderstandings. Use active listening when you talk together, taking the time to repeat, “So what I hear you saying is…” and then paraphrase what you heard, but put it into your own words. This can help clear up a lot of confusion, and will help lay the groundwork for better communication in the future.
Communication is the cement that holds a relationship together. If it fails, the relationship will crumble. Ways to effectively communicate involve taking full responsibility for your part; being fully present and part of the exchange; be committed to seeing the process through; be open enough to freely express your thoughts and feelings and encourage your partner to do the same; and to try to sort out misunderstandings by asking questions and seeking to understand the other’s point of view rather than by getting angry.
Every couple has a unique way of communicating with each other. But even the happiest couple may need some solid advice on how to improve this factor between them. Communication should come easily, couples must speak honestly, clearly, always positively and consistently learn how to overcome gaps in this department. Check out these simple yet effective communication tips
The point is if you speak in a manner that is respectful, clear and positive, your partner and you will never encounter communication problems in your marriage.