My marriage is only two months old and I am already facing trouble in my head. What to do?
I have been married for past two months and I have known my wife for past 8 months.
We were working together when we first met 8 months ago.
I instantly fell in love and she was always positive about it.
I proposed out of excitement and she said yes.
I have never introspected on my decisions since then.
Off late, she sounds to me like an intellectually immature kid.
She has not read a whole bunch of books that I have read even twice.
Her IQ now seems low.
She doesn't respond to my querries, questions, or argumetns the way I would like an intellectual to.
She seems to be pampering me all the time.
When I need her valuable suggestions for my work, she says I am a good at my job and will work fine.
I don't really know if I ever wanted this kind of a partner for life.
I am now forced to think that my love for her was not not actually love rather a cloud of bodily lust.
I am confused.
I have had 3 girlfriends before this marriage.
Somehow, my current wife seemed like a dream girl to me 6 months ago.
I am totally frightened on one hand due to such obnoxious thoughts coming into my mind and on the other hand, I am also frustrated with nothing new coming up during our conversations.
Lately, I have somehow started detesting her romantic pampering, cute name calling, and bodily teasing.
Suggest something! What to do?
I guess what you are facing is what every man / woman faces after a point in their marriage. The big difference for you perhaps that this is happening all too soon. The reason why you are so frustrated is because all this is too much of a shocker for you. For any marriage to work, it is extremely crucial that there is physical, spritual and intellectual compatibility. 6 months ago, you may have felt that all these were in place with this lady and that she was the perfect match for you. But in time, all married couples need to actually put in some effort in to these aspects as well. This is the advice that I would give you; have a conversation with her, tell her what your concerns are exactly and that you both need to work together to make the relationship work. be frank with her.Encourage her to read more books, the newspaper or whatever it may be so she can have an open mind.As partners, you also need to be a source of encouragement for each other - where each knows the other persons weakness and helps that individual to grows and prosper. Rekindle your love for her by spending more time together, doing things that you both love - like going to the movies. Please be nice to her as well as to yourself - do not make a big deal out of this. In fact, take this as a challenge - where both of you can work on your shortcomings and help each other. On the other side, learn to ignore a few things as well - there is no such thing as a 'perfect' partner - you just got to make it perfect :) Good luck!