You need to find a counsellor you can relate to and trust. Try to go to one who has been personally recommended to you by a friend. Make sure you feel comfortable with them and the environment. The rest is up to you and your spouse. If you work with the counsellor and your spouse to find solutions, it will be effective. If one partner is argumentative and defensive, it will be less productive.
Couples counseling is as reliable as the effort you each put into it and the degree of the counselor’s expertise and skill set. The counselor and you and your partner also need to be a great match. If you are not all a good fit for each other and your styles do not match up, then the experience will most likely not be too effective or beneficial. If you find a counselor who is a perfect match, as a couple are both totally open and honest during your sessions,and you both utilize what you learn in counseling inthe days between sessions, then the experience can be very reliable and effective.