Saving a marriage after infidelity is difficult and will require love, patience, commitment and compromises from husband and wife. The first step is for the cheating party to take responsibility for their actions. End the affair and don’t have anything more to do with the other party. Don’t blame your spouse – it was your choice to cheat. After all, your spouse was facing the same problems in the marriage that you were but they did not have an affair. Be prepared to deal with hurt and distrust, as it will take a long time to heal.
After something like that, communication and honesty is key.Trust has to be re-establishe and it could take a while before you both are able to look passed this hurdle. The past will keep haunting the wronged party and it is definitely not easy to get over it. You need to be prepared for the journey because it will definitely be rough.
The fact that you have had an affair is probably a clear indicator that you and your spouse need help. Please find a reputable marriage counselor or go to your pastor for help. If you are truly repentant and your spouse is willing to forgive you, then there is great hope for your marriage to be even better than it ever was. But you cannot work it out alone with your spouse. You need a firm accountability structure and you need caring and professional people who will walk you through this difficult time and beyond. Be honest, humble and willing to learn and change your ways – then you can look forward to your future with hope and peace.
This is a tough one, but it can be done. You (the cheater) will need to be very patient with your spouse as it'll take some time for them to get over your betrayal. You will have to deal with the yelling and screaming, the distance, the lack of intimacy and trust. Work in slow steps to try to win your partner back and to show them how sorry you are. And that it will NEVER happen again.