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Having a baby in a troubled marriage is a wrong decision?

Answers (11)

kleonrose said on
Yes, it definitely is. It could make your marriage take a further turn for the worse, and have an effect on the child as well. Your spouse could either grow to resent you and the child, or show the child affection which could end up making you resent the baby.
Oceanlover said on
Some people believe that having a child can close the gap between the troubled couple. I know of one or two couples that it has worked for, so maybe it's worth a try. However, if this partner has become abuse, I wouldn't suggest bring a child into that kind of environment.
Rycroft said on
If you are hoping that having a baby is going to resolve the trouble in your marriage and bring you closer together as a couple, you may be right, but more likely you will be disappointed. Having a baby, even in a healthy and functional marriage, brings a huge amount of stress and challenges, as well as much joy. The troubles of your marriage may be temporarily put on hold while you both take care of the new baby, enduring sleepless nights and colic together. However, unless the underlying issues are dealt with they will resurface sooner or later. For the sake of your child, rather address the trouble in your marriage before bringing an innocent baby into the conflict zone.
RollerCoasterRide said on
In my experience I have actually seen this help a marriage. A friend of mine was going through a difficult time with his wife and then they found out she was pregnant with twins and he says that changed everything. He says things just fell into place after that. Some of the joy of marriage came back, he says.
MichelleM said on
Having a baby is very stressful. You are tired and usually feel overwhelmed. The baby cries, the mother is emotional because her hormones are playing havoc with her emotions, and the sense of resposibility can be frighteneing. You will have even less time for each other or to work on problems. So your issues may be put aside for a while, but they won´t go away. And now the poor baby will probably be in the middle of a break up at some tiime.
SmoothOperator said on
Maybe bringing a new life in a troubled marriage is a sure way to make things harder. You should know that during pregnancy your emotions shall escalate due to high levels of hormones and if the situation now is difficult your overreactions won't make it any easier. Not to miss the harmfull effect of stress a future mother is experiensing during pregnancy for the unborn child.
DrAlice said on
Ideally, you would want to start a family when both partners are in agreement and are emotionally ready for the responsibility of caring for a child. However, to have a child to mend a troubled relationship is selfish and inconsiderate. A child is not an answer to a troubled relationship.
Hannah said on
Having a baby is a lot of work! Pehaps you should consider going for marriage counseling  than having a baby to save your marriage.
rainstarry said on
The troubles of a marriage is between two individuals, and another person (or baby) in the picture can make things difficult. Some may say that having a baby may add an element of focus for the couple, and while that may be true, raising a child requires great teamwork and understanding between a couple. It can be a trying time for a couple, who has to devote a chunk of their time to the child. If you want to foster closer relations with your spouse, it is better to resolve the issues first without the added distraction of a baby.
beautifullife said on
Please don't have a baby if you are not sure if your marriage is safe, secure or a good environment for a child's development. Sometimes, saving a child go through his or her parent's divorce or separation can affect them aversely in their life. Try to work things out with your spouse and talk about if you want to have a child together. Then you can really decide if you still want a child~
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