If I look back over my marriage, I realise how many problems could have been avoided with good pre-marital counselling. We came from very different backgrounds and upbringings, and neither of us realised how different we were until conflict arose. Often it was simple things, sometimes more serious. If we had had someone experienced to ask relevant questions, we would have enjoyed the first few years of our marriage far more than we did.
Studies show that premarital counselling is one of the smartest thigs a couple can do. It may even lower the divorce rate. Issues are dealt with early on, before they have become deeply-embedded resentments. It is easier to see destructive patterns or problems and fix them while both partners are still madly in love and willing to do whatever it takes to make their relationship work.
Counseling prior to marriage may be useful, especially for young couples. Counseling services may provide these couples with the tools and skills to navigate communication problems early in the marriage. However, premarital counseling would not be the cure for divorce if they were not a good match to begin with. There are certain things that counseling cannot do.
I think it’s a really good idea. I know a lot of people who shouldn’t have gotten together in the first place. It’s totally obvious that they have problems and don’t really know how to work together. Maybe if they had gone to counseling before marriage they could have learned how to better deal with things.
Counseling for couples before marriage is an excellent way of preparing for the most important relationship of your life. The more you can know about your partner before you get married, the more prepared you will be for the inevitable adjustment which the step of marriage will entail. When both partners are willing to be open and honest in front of a counselor, this will bring an element of accountability and humility which is a good foundation for the marriage. As issues are discussed openly, the couple will learn how to improve their communication skills, as well as their conflict resolution skills, which will stand them in good stead throughout their marriage.