Discussing marital problems with your spouse is best done when both parties are calm, relaxed, and open to working on the relationship. A weekly appointment is a good idea if finding time in your schedule is difficult, or you just never “get around to it” otherwise. Decide in advance what issue you will bring up, and be prepared for your spouse to bring up a problem as well. Take turns practicing “I statements” and active listening skills, and if your feelings get too intense at any time, STOP. Make a note of where you are (“press pause”) and decide when you’ll restart the conversation (“press play” again). If tempers are too hot to agree on that, the same time next week often works.