Here is an 8 step rescue plan: Make a list of all the issues - Write down everything you both have disagreements on. From financesto personality issues; write down everything that bother you about your spouse. This helps in acknowledging that these are the problem-points in your marriage. on yourself - No one likes to be told that this or that is their flaw. However, we all know our shortcomings. Acknowledge this on your own - come to terms with them and ask yourself what are some solutions that can help you overcome them. Cut the negativity out: Cut everything out that can taint your relationship. This means no more anger, criticism, accusations or sarcasm. Definitely no more anger escalations. Stay in the calm zone and fight fairly, constructively. Express concerns positively - do not belittle each other or make huge issues out of small concerns. They will always be there- you need to handle them positively. Speak nicely always. Example: My concern is ……….. Take decisions together - be a solid couple! Remove the 3A's - Anger, addictions and affairs out of your marriage. Increase positive energies - Smile more. Touch more. Hug more. More “eye kisses.” More sex! All this equals to more positive energies in your marriage. Look at your parents marriage - Look back and dwell on this some more. What were some of the things you liked in their marriage? Some things that you hated? Take inspiration from both positives and negatives - gain some insight regarding what you must do or avoid in your own marriage.
When you have many different problems in a marriage, it can help to take stock and step back to evaluate the root causes. Figuring out if there is a common source of marital strife can help to simplify the solution. Try categorizing problems like this: · Everyday things my spouse does that really get on my nerves · Issues that make me feel unimportant or ignored · Problems that violate my boundaries · Problems that undermine trust Once you have these categories, talk to your spouse about them as a group, saying, “When you do this I feel like you don’t care,” or, “When this happens I have a hard time trusting you.”
Everyday issues arise in every marriage. Successful marriages rely on good communication skills to keep the relationship on track. · Be sure to let your partner know when something is bothering you. · When you decide to share a problem with your spouse, choose your timing wisely. · Don’t try to have a discussion when tempers are hot. Instead, preface the discussion by letting your spouse know you have something you want to discuss, then agree to set aside time when you can talk. · This is not a time for a back-and-forth. When time is limited and stress is high, it’s important to remember to tackle just one issue at a time.