Because marriage is by definition a union of two people, it is not possible for one person alone to fix their marriage problems. Both parties must be actively involved and willing to listen, learn and make changes. Both people need to be able to recognise when their behaviour is hurtful and destructive, and be willing to work at making the necessary changes. Each one should be 100% committed to making the marriage work and to regard their spouse as worthy of respect. Once respect and trust has been lost it is very difficult to regain. Sometimes a third party is needed to help the marriage partners get some objectivity on their situation. This is where marriage counselling can be beneficial.