You may be a victim of emotional abuse if your partner: •Monitors what you're doing all the time •Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time •Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family •Tries to stop you from going to work or school •Gets angry in a way that is frightening to you •Controls how you spend your money •Humiliates you in front of others •Threatens to hurt you or people you care about •Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you •Says things like, "If I can't have you then no one can." If you regularly experience these warning signs in your partnership, get out and get help. A clergyperson or a mental health agency may have additional resources that can help.
Emotional domestic violence is insidious and hurtful. While the physical scars that accompany physical abuse are absent, emotional abuse is every bit as dangerous and destructive as the physical variety. Individuals who continue a pattern of emotional abuse, may be suffering from mental illness or may have some unresolved issues from childhood. In any event, emotional abuse is wrong and should never be tolerated. Emotional abusers, without substantial therapeutic assistance, will continue their patters indefinitely. The victim of the abuse must hold the abuser accountable and take steps to put an end to this side of violence.