Divorce, like war, is hell. When children are involved in Before, during, and beyond divorce, support and sound counseling become essential for all involved. Hopefully the church, if engaged by the parties, becomes one of many providers of support and counseling. However, do not assume that the church, churchgoers, and religious leaders will deliver the care and guidance you seek. Communities that espouse inerrancy as a core tenant of their identity are especially prone to promoting a “until death do us part” approach to the marriage union unless narrow grounds for dissolution are met. This may become man emotional death sentence – or worse – for those caught in the spin cycle of abuse and/or addiction. God doesn’t want us to be miserable.
God is in the business of reconciliation, but does not ask people to stay in an abusive marriage. If abuse if verbal or physiological and can be helped by counseling, then this is a good option before moving toward divorce. If someone is being emotionally abused they are free to leave the marriage and should leave the marriage as soon as possible.