If you stay together after infidelity, clearly there will be a period of grieving, ranging from emotions of sadness, inadequacy, emptiness, and even rage. To some extent you will be expected to manage these emotions, which you will do the best of your ability. In the meantime, you’ll want to take care of you, do things that make you feel good and get you out of the house to take your mind off things. During these difficult times, you and your partner will be rebuilding trust. As your main objective, rebuilding trust can take a long time. By dedicating yourself to exhibiting appropriate, trustworthy behavior, you will eventually get there. If you are the one who was unfaithful, you will need to be sensitive to the grief your spouse experiences. Whatever emotions come out, you should be prepared to deal with them, you should be prepared to see a counselor, and be willing to tell the truth always, and you must know that you can never be unfaithful again. Any slip up or set back in this process can ruin any possibility of ever regaining trust. Trust is one of the most important ingredients to a successful marriage; don’t playcate your partner; leading him or her on only prolongs the pain.
The first step is to have a discussion about why the infidelity happened. If the spouse who cheated feels he/she is not getting adequate attention at home, plan intential together time. If it included alcohol, discuss only drinking when the other person is around. It is probably a good idea to see a therapist together, as well.