If after marriage, you discover your husband has abusive tendencies, you should talk with him in the very beginning in a loving way, but don’t assume things will get better on their own. It may help to understand that there is a reason for his behavior, such as being raised in an abusive home. Do not, however, make excuses for the behavior. Many spouses verbal abuse for years, and simply learn that keeping quiet, agreeing, and excuse-making are the easiest ways to deal with it. Unfortunately, this attitude only gives the abuser more power. It invariably also leads to other types of abuse further down the road. Your partner needs to know how you feel. Make it clear that you will not put up with the behavior. Talk to him when things are going well and you are both calm. If he refuses to acknowledgethe problem, you may never be able to convince him to get help or stop. Most people who abuse others are resistant to change. If this is the case, you are probably stuck with a classic abuser and the only way to stop the cycle of abuse in your life will be to leave the relationship.
Ask him to go to counseling with you. If he refuses, get someone he respects, such as his father, to ask him. Abuse is one of the top reasons for getting a divorce You must help him deal with the issue but if he refuses to stop or is not interested in changing his behavior, then it's best to move out or make it clear that you will leave him.